Haber Dash
by Malteaser
Summary: What if Hatter didn't go through the Looking Glass, but instead sought alternate means of travel? Or, had in land in front of him, whatever.


Two highly unproductive and somewhat bewildering days after Alice had returned home, Hatter woke up to find that someone had painted the phone box outside his shop blue. It was remarkable precisely because it was something he normally wouldn't bother to remark upon. But out of all the things someone could do to his property- because it was his, or because it housed a now-defunct Tea Shop why would they choose to paint the phone box blue?

The answer was that they hadn't. Instead, the blue box had been placed directly in front of the red one, and left there. Hatter was just debating the merits of opening it (some sort of satisfying answer vs the possibility of there being something nasty inside) when it did that for itself, revealing a man in a pinstriped suit, trainers and a long flappy coat.

"Hello!" he said brightly, stepping outside.

"Hi," Hatter replied uncertainly, poking his head within. There was an entire cavern inside, with the entrances to corridors just visible off to the sides. He pulled back and took another look at the blue box. It looked to be about the same size as the red one, but obviously wasn't. Huh. He was about to put his head back inside when the other man gently but firmly shut the door.

"That's enough of that for now, I think," he said. "Otherwise we could be here all day, and that would be a waste of a planet."

"You've parked on my front lawn, I can't take a look inside?" Hatter asked.

"Yes, exactly," the man replied, sweeping off the front of the shop. Hatter checked the door, which was, predictably, locked. He turned around to take a good look at the man, he stood looking at his Tea Shop with an entirely too fond expression. "Ah, Wonderland. You never really change, do you?"

He strongly suspected that this guy would get along well with Charlie.

"I should certainly hope we do," Hatter replied.

"Oh, come on, you do not," the man retorted wheeling around on his heels to face Hatter. "You'll always have your flamingos and your tea and your crazy little…" he trailed off and then leaned forwards, until he was right in Hatter's face. "I know you."

"No, you don't," Hatter replied swiftly, backing away slightly. There were very few people he would be happy to have recognize him, as a general rule, and he'd seen nothing that would to this man being an exception.

"Yes, yes I do! You're Hatter! The Hatter! With the hat!" the man exclaimed. He snatched the aforementioned hat off of Hatter's head and, ignoring his cry of _**Oi**_, rolled it from one hand to another over his shoulders and then flicked into onto his head.

He stood there, hands on his hips, beaming. Hatter stole his hat back.

"Congratulations, you know who I am," he muttered. "So, the next question is, who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor!" said the Doctor.

Hatter frowned. The name sounded familiar to him, worryingly so. "I've heard of you."

"Yes you have," the Doctor said encouragingly.

"You're that bloke."

"Yeah-hm."

"Who-" Hatter looked at the blue box in an entirely new and somewhat terrifying light. "Can travel between worlds without a Looking Glass."

"Exactly!" the Doctor cried, pleased as pudding. "And now I've come to yours. So tell me all the news, Mr. Hatter. What's going on?"

"Well, we just had a revolution…"

"Really?" the Doctor cried, surprised. "As in, it's over with just now?"

"Well, the Queen's been overthrown, the Casino's been destroyed, and the Oysters have all gone back where they belong. That covers most of the revolutionary aspects. Everything else is just the mop up."

"That's odd," the Doctor said, frowning. "Normally I end up in the middle of revolutions, if not at the head of them. I wonder why she bought me here?"

He turned to regard the blue box suspiciously, missing Hatter's shrug entirely. Then he turned back to Hatter with an even deeper frown. "But what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here, not now. You should be on the other side of the Looking Glass."

Hatter grimaced. "I can't."

"Yes you can. Yes you should. In fact," the Doctor grabbed him by the arm and began to drag him towards the blue box. "We are going right now."

"I can't," Hatter repeated.

"Do you not listen to yourself when you talk?" the Doctor scoffed, unlock the door. "I don't need a Looking Glass to travel between planets. Or times, if I'm being completely honest. I can drop you off just when you were supposed to arrive."

"No, you don't understand," Hatter said, voice cracking slightly. "I _can't_."

His head swam: he remembered Alice hugging Jack, taking the ring to turn on the Looking Glass, stepping through… he still wished her all the luck in the world. He wished her all the luck in both their worlds. That didn't change the fact that he could tell it was time to get out before they both got hurt.

The Doctor looked at him, bemused. "You know, none of your biographers ever told anyone you were quite this thick."

"Excuse me?" Hatter said, indignation thankfully putting a halt on his pity party for the moment.

For an answer, the Doctor rolled his eyes and walked inside. "You've got a chance, a very rare, one in a million chance, to have a happy ending. And you're about to walk away from it? Or rather, about to let it drive off into the fabric of space and time?"

"What are you talking about?" Hatter asked.

"Alice needs you, you twit," the Doctor said, almost fondly. "Now are you coming or not? Because, I could be doing something else. I've got a visit I need to pay to Queen Elizabeth I, I've got sandworm hunting to protest, it's been a while since I was to-"

Hatter closed the door behind him, effectively cutting off the Doctor's words for the casual observer. It wasn't long before the blue box disappeared entirely.


End file.
